doesn't matter. There i was, with my self-proclaimed love of my present life. Agnst? maybe. probably. I wanted to let him know that I never want to see the man bring him down, and then I thought, maybe I already have? through I deep discussions that I work for men that purposely keep wages low, and their paychecks high. I put so much into that job, and maybe, it is my attachment to that job that is my downside. I care about how I do, and how the party parents view me. i wanted to tell Michael why i was so upset, why that day I walked into Philosophy wanting to cry(Thanks Alec for asking :] ). As i walked through that crowded hallways before class, I wanted to purposely bump into people that were standing and talking. I was exhausted by people's crap that is superficial. My friends that do nothing wrong started to annoy me. I hate that. It was wrong of me, and I started to take it out on Michael too. There is definitely a shift in my sense of mood. I'm "just going through a rough time". The 5th of November, the day my shackles will loosen. [State Finals]
I personally believe that the state of my room(clean/dirty) impacts how my emotional state it(sensible/crazy).
Either way, teacher assign homework on Friday assuming that kids will have all the time in the world to complete it. I get maybe two hour packets of time to do it, and even then I'm either in between two things i have to do, or I miss out on sleep. I'm guilty in a sense though. I find time to hang out with Michael too.
Monday- Marching Band 6-9
Tuesday- Marching Band 2:30-5
Wednesday- Marching Band 6-9
Thursday- Work:?
Friday- Marching Band 2:30-5(or till 11 p.m.((football game))) Work?
Saturday- Marching Band 9/or/10/or/11- 4/or/ 11 p.m. (9-4 before we compete, till 11 when we do.)
Sunday- Work!
Hu hum.
I went yesterday to ask for applications.
I have to see Stacy on Monday.
They're open 8 a.m. to 6 p.m.
I have school and practice till 5:30.
I can certainly relate to responsibilities weighing a person down, but please do not forget the great things you are doing in the world just because a few are not going well.
ReplyDeleteWe tend to be harder on ourselves than anyone else is. You are a very high quality young lady, and I think you sometimes forget that. I am telling you now, but I think you need to get used to saying it to yourself sometimes. People get too busy, sometimes, to tell others how important they are in their lives.
Cognitive dissonance, especially when is magnified into full-blown anxiety, has a way of overwhelming a person's ability to pay attention. The monkey mind keeps a person away from seeing the good when so much bad seems to be in the way. The good is always around us, though, just like the bad.
Is it easier, sometimes, to see what is wrong with your life than what is right?