My lovely mother told me that, and it's honest. I love my mother. She is a creative genius, and she gets me. I hope that everyone has a parent that is awesome and makes sense. Even though my father kind of sucks, I still love him, and I'm glad to have a amazing mother.
I'm going to vent about my father a little bit, and I know no one is perfect but there are a few things about my dad that bug me deeply. I love my dad, his primary role is to fund my life and i respect him for that. Yet, my father having being born in the south and him being unable to read make our relationship very strained. He talks on his CB Radio constantly, and most of what comes out of his mouth is ignorant or insulting. It fills my ears with garbage and I get tired of it frequently.
Not only do I not understand him, he doesn't understand me. He doesn't get how hard I work or what I plan to do. I planned to be in the animal health field as my career since middle school, and he hasn't cared to ask in till my senior year. He even mentioned it in a manor that was insulting, like I had no direction in life. Oh well.
If this is all true, which is hard to tell since we cannot get in anyone's head besides our own, it is good that you have not let it impede you. Although, it seems to be having a residual effect.
ReplyDeletePeople do their very best, I believe, at every moment of their lives, at least given their current situations and states of mind. No one intends to be thoughtless without at some level feeling as though it is justified. I can imagine someone learning from other adults some wisdom like the old, old saying, "Little pictures are meant to be seen, not heard." This was the way, back in the day, that parents kept their kids quiet so they "could think."
You and I probably share the belief that kids learning, especially when at play, is sometimes noisy, even chaotic. But if someone learns that kids should just shut up, this is their worldview, right or wrong. And that person's worldview colors everything else he says or does. The point being that no one tries to do the wrong thing. People are always doing the best they think they can, and when others think they could or should be doing better, they come back with rationale supporting why they are who they are. We tend to buttress up our behaviors and belief with fortresses of reasons and excuses.
As a I have gotten older, I have tried to keep my fortress walls a bit more malleable so I can adjust to new learning, new world views. Not everyone is fortunate enough to learn this. I wonder if you try to see things from others' world views, even when they are so very different from your own. I have a feeling you do, but maybe not in every case.
I'm at a sort of loss for words, mainly because my father is very out there. I try to understand him, but he is missing such a sense of world... To understand him would be like unlearning the color blue. Which sound insulting, but it's true. He appears to me as a negative person, and a lot of what he says is just that. My father is completely capable of being humane and act as my father figure, but that is seemingly only in times of need where I'm crying and my mother isn't around, or it's her that I'm upset by.
ReplyDeleteHe is a man, and due to this I feel he has built a well. From his perspective, I'm sure he is doing the right thing and all he has to do is work and criticize.
Frankly, I'm pretty sure you and him are the opposites, minus being able to do plumbing(?), liking to talk, that you both think what you say is valuable, and majority of the people you talk to don't really listen.
[I hope you caught to sad 'humor' in that]
[I may be guilty of resentment.]