Honestly.

First off, it's okay to be sad. I'm not kidding. The only way to really appreciate being happy is to know how destructive and unproductive being sad is. I may be sad more than the next person, but I let it out and move. No need to cry of spilled me.

I like candy

Especially sour candy. i can eat it constantly. My tongue can hardly handle though, low tolerance. Also, I have a knack for procrastination. Especially since I have marching band and a lovely boyfriend. So, I have four assignments due tomorrow and i started working two hours ago. I had to do a timeline, reading questions, finish a reading log, and chemistry questions. I may do these assignments last minute but I still get As and Bs. I'm hoping this year to get my GPA higher. I feel pretty damn impressive, especially when it comes to my resume. I keep thinking of things to tell you but I keep forgetting them all. I really like reading books about teenagers with personal emotions issues. so, when I find a good book I often have my nose in it whenever I get a chance. I know some kids are like that constantly, and some kids think of others that behave this way as dorky. Both extremes there are pretty much obnoxious. Now I'm going to tell you that everyone need to have a balance of things. Don't base your life off of social activities, yet you should be in solitude. Undoubtedly have a social life, and undoubtedly be comfortable with being alone.

I think too much, if you haven't noticed. Most kids in my grade don't really try to think anywhere much less outside of the box. When did thinking become uncool? Anyways. Yeah. Um. We'll discuss this later. I have to read 30 pages..... and then leisure read my book so I can finish it.

things to remind myself-
Movies
Music
Job

Reflection

At a young age my mind was set on a plan for life, and by saying young age I mean maybe two/three years ago. I'm still at a young age, and I'll never doubt that. I do however believe that I'm a pretty good candidate to become a adult. Scary, right? So as I was saying, my plan has been a huge foundation. since I wanted to be a vet, I knew I wanted a Volkswagen beetle, I loved Siberian huskys, and I loved brick houses/flat roofs. Each aspect brought it's own prerequisites. To be a Vet I had to go to college, To go to college I needed money, to get money I had to work and save. Which, I've been following that. I work, I save as much as I can. Marching band has been a set back but none the less I think it's worth it. For the record, right now my father in on the CB radio talking about 'butt plugs'... Yeahhh.

alright, I want to get into a bit of lecture because I never heard these things from my parents and I doubt my positions will change. Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't treat you right. I got into a long term relationship when I was in 8th grade. Following that break up I met boys who I liked a awful lot, but I wasn't comfortable. I wasn't myself. I should of known they where doomed but every time I went blindly until they or I made the final push to decide it was over. Oh god, I just thought about what if i died before you got to my age. Shit. Then I'd be very thankful I took this project up. Isn't it funny how people's words are taken for granted, that is until they die. Then every word, syllable, thought, and action will something to remember them by.. Hmm. Alright, back to the relationships... [My dad fell asleep on the floor...... Awkward.] I've learned that if you have a relationship that has cheating, it is practically doomed. If you cheat once on a person, then something is going wrong in the relationship. It goes much further than just forgiveness, it involved change for both the doer and the innocent.

I don't know what to expext with reactions. there is no telling. It kind of almost scares me to think of all the bad things that could happen. you might not like me, I might be crazy, I might be dead, you might not care... I unno. It's weird. I'm currently working on my resume, I'm trying to get a job at a Vet office. I'm kind of pessimistic about this though.

Just general beginning,

I think, that it would be best for me to just write this all in this blog. I want to write a series of letters to my children because at this age I would

1. Want to know how my mother and father were at my age.
2. Want to see if they have anything in common with my emotional crazy-ness.
3. Want my kids to know where I came from.

Either way this is going to be a diary of sorts, just censored a little. :P

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So, on this day(Sunday September 25th, 2011) I am extremely physically sore. I go from school, to working, to Marching Band, to school, work, marching band.... They're all things that I enjoy to some degree but they take a lot of energy in time. Yesterday was a marching band competition that the band placed first and got best music, and general effect(which the color guard is apart of). I'm really stoked, but at the same time I would just like a break. Yet, my mother and father have ways to ask to me to do something when I get some down time.

Anyways, I'm currently in the process of looking for a new job. Zap Zone is fun place to visit but they demand so much and don't give breaks, or raises. They're so focus about money that it motivates everything they do. I've worked there a for a year(long enough for future employers to know I can hold down a job) and I have every intention to quit. I am one of the best hosts there, but it isn't worth it. I want to work with animals. I want to do something I'm passionate about. maybe this will never get you, you never know. I guess it depends on how well we get along. Oh well. Some things only time will tell. I got to think thing through a little better. But to end this, here a few things about me as of today

1. I am 17
2. I have a boyfriend that I've been dating for almost a year.(Michael Hammond)
3. I am in love with rainbows, even my room is centered around them.
4. I've been in color guard for three years and it;s the only thing that I liked.
5. I have a sick sense of humor, often centered around 'Your mom' jokes.
6. I am pretty obnoxious, opinionated, and most people agree i'm weird.